


The Most Romantic

by MissKittyFantastico



Category: World Wrestling Entertainment, 新日本プロレス | New Japan Pro-Wrestling
Genre: Crack-ish, Established Relationship, Gratuitous references to Peter Gabriel, Kenny is a Dick, M/M, Sami is Perfect, Takes place during the Cruiserweight Classic Finale, finn is grumpy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-06
Updated: 2016-11-06
Packaged: 2018-08-29 11:07:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,653
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8487004
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MissKittyFantastico/pseuds/MissKittyFantastico
Summary: When Kenny arrives on Finn's doorstep, begging for help on winning Kota back, how can Finn say no?
Well, he really wants to say no.





	

**Author's Note:**

> I started this fic like two months ago, but stalled out for some reason. It's ridiculous on purpose, might just be a giant tribute to my love of 'Sledgehammer' by Peter Gabriel, and I figured out what the ending should be when I was sleep deprived in iggypup87's car. I enjoyed writing it, so I hope you enjoy reading it.

Finn was on Twitter in the middle of the Cruiserweight Classic finale when Kenny called. He couldn’t even get out a ‘hello’ before Kenny started screaming “KOTA LOST TO TJ PERKINS?! HOW COULD THAT EVEN HAPPEN?!”

“Well, it’s nice to hear from you too, Kenny Omega,” Finn sighed, awkwardly balancing his phone in his left hand. “How are you even watching right now? It’s gotta be like… noon where you are now? Don’t you have training or something?”

“Oh no, I’m in Orlando,” Kenny said matter-of-factly. “In fact, I’m outside your apartment right now.”

“What?”

Before Finn could inquire further, there was a knock at his door. With a huff and a groan, he got out of his recliner and unlocked the door to find Kenny Omega standing in front of him, his silver curls frazzled from the Florida humidity. “Hi Finn.”

Finn just stared at Kenny, blinking incredulously for a few seconds. This had to be a hallucination from his medication, right? “Kenny, what the actual fuck are you doing here? And how the fuck do you know where I live?”

“Well one, Karl gave it to me when I told him I was sending you a care package,” Kenny answered as he made his way past Finn and into his apartment. “Nice place you got here. Not as many Legos on the floor as I expected.”

“Yeah, well, kinda hard to spill them at the moment,” Finn replied, signalling to his sling as he closed the door. Okay, so this was happening then. “Seriously though Kenny, what the fuck are you doing here?”

Kenny sighed and looked up towards Finn’s ceiling. “I came for Kota. He doesn’t know I’m here though.”

“So you flew all the way from Japan for your old tag partner, but you showed up at my place?”

“It’s supposed to be a surprise,” Kenny sneered. “I was gonna surprise him after he won and try to convince him away from your terrible corporate overlords, but that dabbing dumbass went and ruined it all!”

Finn pursed his lips. He was well aware of how Kenny felt about his employer, so he was going to let that one slide. “Well, I don’t think Kota was going to stay even if he won, but it still doesn’t explain why you showed up here in the middle of the night.”

“Well, I kinda had to formulate plan B in the Uber,” Kenny admitted. “You’ve seen _Say Anything,_ right?”

“Yeah, Sami showed it to m-,” Finn started, but then began to realize what Kenny meant by it. “No.”

“Oh c’mon, Finn! I gotta win him back! I love him and I’ve been so lost without him…”

“You seem to be doing alright with the Bucks.”

“Not that kind of lost, buddy.”

Finn sighed, running his unslung hand down his face. “Look, Kenny, it’s nice to see you unexpectedly in my place, but I got a long day tomorrow a-”

“Oh don’t do that,” Kenny interjected, his tone harsh at first, but then dipping into slightly apologetic as he pointed at Finn. “You kinda owe me one anyway!”

Finn raised his eyebrows at that. “For what?”

“Your move helped me win the G1.”

“Yeah, I didn’t exactly tell you to do that. In fact, AJ kiiiiinda wants to talk to you about that.”

“Fuck AJ and his title, this isn’t about him,” Kenny bemoaned. “This is about the original Bullet Club leader helping the current one get the love of his life back. What do you say, Finn? For old times sake?”

“You joined the Bullet Club after I left. In fact, I put a bag over your head once.”

“Okay, then more of a legacy thing. C’mon man, give me something to work with.”

Finn sighed as he rubbed his free hand over his face again and looked up at the ceiling. “Fine. I’ll help you.”

“Yes,” Kenny shouted, clapping his hands together and gesturing towards the door. “To the Wal-Mart!”

“Uhhh, how,” Finn asked. “You don’t exactly have your driver’s license.”

“Yeah, but you do.”

“Slight problem with that right now, Omega,” Finn stated flatly, pointing at his monster of an abduction sling.

Kenny’s face fell. “Oh… right. That. Well, are any of your precious WWE friends awake or have they all hit the road for the next slog?”

Finn couldn’t tell if his eye was twitching right now out of annoyance or tiredness, but it was certainly doing that. “I think I know a guy.”

\---

“So, explain to me this plan again, dear,” Sami asked as he walked beside Finn, trailing behind Kenny as they combed the second Wal-Mart of the night for a boombox or Peter Gabriel’s greatest hits.

Finn sighed as he looked over at Kenny inspecting the CD section with rigor. “He wants to Lloyd Dobler Kota into coming back to him.”

“I mean, I get that, but has it actually worked on anyone? Diane didn’t exactly get out of bed in _Say Anything,”_ Sami mused. “And like, does Kota even know the significance of early Cameron Crowe?”

“Hey,” Kenny snapped turning towards Sami and Finn. “It doesn’t matter what Kota knows or doesn’t know. He’ll know that it comes from my heart and that’s what matters.”

“So you could totally play him Peter Gabriel’s actual most romantic song ‘Sledgehammer’ and it would still be cool,” Sami asked, his voice cracking under a giggle slightly.

Kenny just shot Sami a look. “Yes, because that’s what, as Peter Gabriel would say, the power of love is.”

Sami’s face twisted in confusion for a second. “That’s Huey Lewis and the News though.”

“Huh?”

“‘The Power of Love’ is a Huey Lewis song,” Sami stated, his voice still sounding skeptical. “Did… did you think Peter Gabriel and Huey Lewis are the same person?”

“...No.”

“Oh my god, you totally did,” Sami said, his voice peaking in surprise. “We’ve known each other for how long? Have you seriously thought Peter Gabriel did the theme to _Back to the Future_ the entire time you’ve known me?”

“Hey,” Kenny shouted as he picked up a CD, his voice sounding flustered. “Found it! Let’s never talk about this again.”

As he walked away towards the music players, Sami followed after him. “That still doesn’t answer my question, Kenny!”

Finn could only shake his head fondly. If he was going to be put on an unwilling adventure with Kenny Omega, at least he had Sami Zayn with him.

\---

It took trips to four different Wal-Marts in a 25-mile radius before Kenny found everything he needed, though it felt like a million to Finn.

He was tired and sore, and not looking forward to showing up to the performance center in a few hours feeling like death. At some point, he resigned himself to a half sleep in the backseat of Sami’s car. He might have read on his Twitter feed at some point that TJ had won the Cruiserweight Classic? Not like it mattered at this point. This night had mostly been following Kenny around and trying to sleep to Sami’s chatter.

Not like Sami chattering was a bad thing.

“Hey, babe. Wake up,” Sami whispered, gently prodding at Finn’s knee. “I think Kenny’s about to do it.”

Finn stirred awake, groaning as he wiped the sleep from his eyes. “Oh god, what time is it?”

“Like five in the morning,” Sami answered. “Want some of my coffee? Promise I’m not sick.”

“Sure,” Finn mumbled as Sami passed the coffee to his free hand. “Explains how you’re awake after this all night excursion.”

“Yeah, well, I’m lucky the next show is in Kentucky, so I don’t have to fly out until tomorrow.”

“Don’t remind me,” Finn sighed as he took a sip from Sami’s cup.

Sami looked up at Finn through the rear view mirror, frowning slightly. “I miss you, y’know.”

“I know,” Finn said, looking back at Sami as he handed the cup back. “And I don’t mean to be such a dick. I miss you too. I miss being out there.”

“Yeah, well, if it’s any consolation,” Sami said, turning back to look at Finn. “Even when we’re apart, I still want to be your sledgehammer.”

Finn looked at Sami perplexed at first, but then burst into laughter. A snort at first, then a few small giggles, and then finally full blown belly laughter. As Finn wiped the tears from his eyes, he looked back up at Sami, still cracking up. “I don’t know if it’s because I’m so tired or that’s one of the most ridiculously stupid and romantic things anyone has ever said to me, but this is the hardest I’ve laughed in weeks.”

Sami smiled at Finn, that familiar crinkle and sparkle showing in his eyes as he did. “I love you, Finn.”

“And I love you, Sami.”

As they leaned in to kiss, Finn heard music coming from outside the car. Finn looked up to see Kenny standing in front of the car, wearing a crappy bathrobe he had gotten from the last Wal-Mart. “Why has the world lost touch with trench coats,” he had whined as Finn wished to be asleep in his recliner. 

So there Kenny was, standing outside of the car in a tan bathrobe, holding a boombox powered by D batteries a confused employee had found in backstock, and blasting ‘In Your Eyes’ at full volume outside of Kota’s window. Well, Hideo’s window. Kota had been staying with him. “For his sake, I hope he doesn’t wake Hideo up,” Finn mumbled.

“Why is Kota staying with him anyway? Why not Asuka or Shinsuke?”

“Beats me,” Finn shrugged. “Though I think they all live in this complex, so who knows…”

“Yo, who’s blasting that,” a voice shouted from the balcony above. 

Sami craned his neck to see who was shouting. “Is that… oh _no.”_

“What,” Finn asked, trying his best to lean forward with his sling.

Before Sami could answer Finn’s question, Kenny shouted, “OH, WHAT THE FUCK?!” He dropped the boombox down, grabbing it by the handle and turning the music off in the middle of Peter Gabriel’s crooning and stomped over closer to below the window. “TJ PERKINS, YOU BOYFRIEND STEALING ASSHOLE!”

“It’s not stealing if you broke up with him first, Omega,” TJ shouted back from the balcony. Finn was able to lean over enough to see TJ standing there in boxer briefs covered in Tetris blocks, bruises peppering his chest from where Kota had chopped him the night before.

“IT WAS A MUTUAL BREAKUP!”

“SO WHY ARE YOU EVEN HERE?”

As the two went back and forth, Finn groaned as he leaned back in the seat and rubbed at his eyes. This was all a terrible nightmare, right? “God, I knew helping Kenny was a bad idea.”

“And I thought me and Kevin had drama,” Sami mumbled as he leaned forward on the steering wheel. Suddenly, another voice popped into the conversation, speaking in Japanese this time. Sami perked up. “Oh god, now Kota is awake.”

Finn leaned forward again to see Kota standing next to TJ on the balcony, in a tiny pair of underwear that didn’t leave much to the imagination. As he yelled at Kenny, Kenny switched to Japanese with rapidfire ease and anger. “And now they’re both yelling.”

“Any idea what they’re saying?”

Finn turned his head slightly as he listened to what Kenny was yelling at Kota. “I mean, my Japanese is pretty terrible, but… oh…”

“What did he say there?”

“I mean, I didn’t get the entire sentence, but I think Kenny just called Kota a slut of some kind.”

“Oh god,” Sami sighed. “So much for Peter Gabriel and the power of love, huh?”

“Kenny can be a hopeless romantic sometimes, but mostly, he’s just a dick.”

Suddenly, another voice came into the conversation. Finn’s heart practically froze in his chest. “Oh no… Is that…”

“Yeah, Hideo just walked out,” Sami confirmed, looking out the window with curiosity. “And he doesn’t look too happy.”

“Gun it.”

“What?”

“Sami, I don’t want to get caught in the crossfire of Hideo being woken up by a screaming Kenny Omega. He’s officially on his own for this. Get us the fuck out of here.”

Sami looked out the window again to the four of them, then back at Finn. “Yeah, okay. I’m with you on that.”

Without another word, Sami turned the key in the ignition, sparking the car to life. Before he could finish turning the lights on, he put the car in drive and peeled away from the curb Kenny had been standing on. Behind them in the distance, Kenny realized what was happening and began screaming, “HEY! GET BACK HERE!”

“He seems mad,” Sami mused as he gunned it as fast as they could out of the apartment complex.

“I don’t care,” Finn sighed. “Kenny kept me up all night on this wild goose chase. I’m tired, I’m pissed off, and I gotta be back for a long day of rehab in just a short bit.”

“Yeah, but you think he’ll get back at you for it?”

“He spends a majority of his time in Japan,” Finn sighed, looking back up at Sami. “I mean, c’mon. He’s got Destruction in a few days, so he’s not exactly going to be spending a lot of time here looking to get back at me. Besides, what’s the worst he can do to me that hasn’t already been done in the past month?”

“Be careful what you wish for, dear,” Sami warned. “If there’s one thing I know about Kenny Omega, it’s that he’ll get you where you least expect it.”

“Potentially,” Finn mumbled as he leaned back in the seat. “But right now, I just want to sleep.”

\---

The next week, for the most part, passed without incident. Kenny didn’t return to Finn’s place after the Boombox Incident and was back in Japan in time for Destruction in Tokyo. He didn’t even send Finn any angry messages about it, so Finn had assumed he was in the clear.

Until Finn woke up to an angrily buzzing phone on the morning of the 25th. As he rubbed his eyes from his recliner, he looked at the incoming call. Kenny. He sighed as he accepted it. “What, Kenny?”

“Good morning, Finn,” Kenny cooed in his best supervillian voice. That’s how Finn knew something was up. “Seen the news lately?”

“Well, you literally just woke me up from a nice dream about my boyfriend, so no.”

“Oh, that’s too bad. You might want to check your Twitter real quick then. There might be something there… _relevant_ to you.”

Finn rolled his eyes as he pulled the phone away from his ear. He quickly put Kenny on speaker and opened the Twitter app. His mentions were full as usual. Lots of t-shirts and fanart he’d try to go through later. However, towards the top was something weirder. A lot of tweets like “OH NOOOO!”, “What would @finnbalor think?!” and even a few mentions of that infamous Captain Fucking New Japan video. Why though?

Before he could ask Kenny though, he scrolled up even more for his answer. And his blood immediately began to boil.

“You let _him_ in the Bullet Club?”

“I mean, I had _no choice,_ ” Kenny sighed dramatically. “Yoshitatsu was just being so rude to him and he had nowhere else to go.”

“CAPTAIN FUCKING NEW JAPAN THOUGH,” Finn shouted, his voice cracking slightly as it did. He then cleared his throat and dropped it back down to a whisper. “This is petty, even for you, Omega.”

“Well, it was pretty petty to leave me there to deal with what would eventually turn into an incident that also included Kana, an injured Shinsuke _and_ the police, so now we’re even, Finn.”

“When I can use both arms again, I’m gonna fucking strangle you, Kenny.”

“Looking forward to it, sweetheart.”

**Author's Note:**

> Everything is Captain New Japan's fault.


End file.
